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Top 10 Muriel’s Wedding quotes

Can you believe it’s been almost 25 years since Muriel Heslop waved goodbye to Porpoise Spit while ABBA’s Dancing Queen pumped in the background?

A beloved Australian gem that launched the careers of Toni Collette and Rachel Griffiths, Muriel’s Wedding has as much heartbreaking tragedy (the mum, anyone?) as it does laughs. But the wry Aussie dialogue from writer/director PJ Hogan resulted in some magnificent one-liners and hilarious scene-stealing moments. So much so, Toni Collette has admitted that all these decades later, she still gets “you’re terrible, Muriel” on a daily basis.

Muriel Wedding’s enduring popularity saw a musical of the same name premiere in January 2018 (complete with a ‘making of’ documentary).

To celebrate, let’s take a look back at some of the top 10 quotes from Muriel’s Wedding.

1. You’re terrible, Muriel.

Translation: Face palm.

2. Bill Heslop: You Can’t Stop ProgresS.

Translation: Bill Heslop’s version of It’s Time. Except he didn’t win.

3. I’m a bride. I’m supposed to be euphoric!

Translation: I’m married! I’m beautiful! (This is actually another quote from the ever-lovely Tania)

4. Wait! Let her finish her Orgasm.

Wait! Let her finish her fruity cocktail before we destroy her happiness.

5. Stick your drink up your arse Tania, I would rather swallow razorblades than drink with you. Oh by the way, I’m not alone. I’m with Muriel.

Translation: BAM! Take that, you vapid airheads. Also, Muriel is awesome and we’re mates now.

6. Waterloo (or basically the entirety of this scene).

Translation: These are lyrics to an ABBA song. You should know that. I don’t care if you were born after 1999. Also THIS WHOLE SCENE.

7. Since I’ve met you and moved to Sydney I haven’t listened to one ABBA song. That’s because now my life’s as good as an ABBA song. It’s as good as Dancing Queen.

Translation: When you can dance, you can jive, and you’re having the time of your life (ooooo).

8. You can’t come in here and threaten brides, I don’t care how unfortunate you are.

Translation: When someone is trying to be diplomatic and failing.

9. And you three – what a bunch of c*&?suckers.

Translation: Classic Rhonda. Telling it like it is.

10. Goodbye Porpoise Spit!

Translation: FREEDOM!

And honourable mentions...We know we said 10, but we just couldn’t go past these stunners. Blame PJ Hogan.


Translation: You're a moron.

It's deidre chambers, what a coincidence!

Translation: Oh my, hello person that I organised to meet at this location.


Translation: Edible national treasure?

But why are you GIFing when you could be watching? Muriel’s Wedding is available to stream now on Stan, Ozflix and more.

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